L2: Where do I go from here?

I’m discovering that the journey I’m taking, at the stage in life I’m at, promotes introspection. Hurtling along at highway speeds, alone, hour after hour, inspires the mind to wander in a variety of directions.

One of those directions, for me, has been Family.

I am the elder child of an eldest son and an eldest child… each of them a member of a large loving family.

My sister and I grew up taking those family ties for granted, and, since becoming adults, we have learned to appreciate them.

The Saturday before I left Winnipeg, my sister and brother-in-law hosted a farewell barbeque in their back yard and invited a microcosm of our extended family. In attendance were one of our mother’s remaining brothers and our father’s three surviving sisters.  The “baby” of that group was 82.

Two of the four senior siblings were escorted by an offspring; another by a daughter and her husband; the fourth (NOT the “baby”) drove herself.

Additional guests included Max, a friend of more than 20 years who became an honorary member of our extended “family” as a result of sharing a house with my sister and brother-in-law when they returned to Winnipeg; Theresa, his partner; my friend, Nuo, who has been a major factor in my decision to go to China to teach English (Chengdu is Nuo’s home city, and she initiated my contact with CUIT, where I will be teaching); and Bob and Jeanette, the parents of my daughter’s boyfriend (whom I will meet for the first time in a few days).

Written down, the guest list appears complicated; the reality was anything but. It was a “family” party - my favourite kind - a mosaic of unique individuals who, for a few hours, merge into a harmonious whole.

That phrase, “a harmonious whole,” sounds very Chinese, as does the link to family. I’ve spent my recent days reading a book about China by an author who grew up in and around Chengdu. The importance of “family” is a strong, recurring theme in her story, and I am hoping that it is something that I, and my Chinese hosts, will have in common.

I bring with me to China one piece of jewelry, a gift from my immediate family at the barbeque. It is a pendant, custom-made to my brother-in-law’s design. On the front is a book (books, and reading, are my addiction), a pen (writing is my vocation, and my avocation), and a tiny opal (October is my birth month); on the back are the words, “On to your future,” and the first initials of my two children, my sister and brother-in-law, and their two sons.    

      I will miss them terribly, but I will also KNOW that they are just beyond the horizon.

My current stop is in Calgary. I arrived last night, after two days of driving. For anyone not familiar with driving cross-Canada (and to quote the singing group, The Arrogant Worms), “Canada’s really BIG!”

Note: My previous blog SHOULD have been posted on August 10 - one of the things that didn’t happen quite on schedule.

I left Winnipeg on Monday (August 11) - almost on time, although I didn’t actually leave the city until about 1:30 p.m. - crossed the first half of Canada’s Prairies, and spent the first night of my journey with my friend, Sharon W., in Regina. I spoke of Sharon in a previous blog - she’s the historian that has been a friend since our university days.

Sharon and I met in a first year Economics class - when we simultaneously turned to each other and shrugged - “What IS the man talking about?” In spite of that inauspicious beginning, we both passed the course… although neither of us majored in economics.

                    Sharon W, then and now

Sharon made me welcome in her home - gave me her bed and her underground parking stall for the night, provided me with access to the internet, served me a chicken dinner and tea when I arrived and porridge and tea before I left . We discussed our families, the Olympics, our respective computers (hers is in for repairs, mine is new), and our faith (Sharon is an active member of her congregation, I’m lapsed).

As always, ours was a spirited and interesting exchange. The friendship between Sharon W and I is a curiosity. We are two very different people, but over the years we’ve always managed to find enough points of intersection to maintain a connection. It is one of those friendships that are like “family” - no matter how much time lapses between visits or conversations, the foundation stays solid and the friendship remains in place.

One of the important elements in this friendship “mix” is a third friend, Sharon H, who, with her husband, runs a bed & breakfast on Hecla Island in Manitoba. Sharon H has provided a vital link between Sharon W and I over the years, keeping in touch with both of us, and keeping each of us informed of the other.

            Sharon H, then and now

When Sharon W and I first met, the two Sharons were sharing an apartment close to campus, and, through a series of circumstances, I ended up joining them for the summer of 1967. Subsequently, the three of us travelled together to Expo ‘67 in Montreal in the fall; a trip that we “re-visited” last fall, 40 years later. The difference was that, this time, we could afford beds on the train.

I spent one of my final nights in Manitoba up at Hecla visiting with Sharon H at her B & B.

Today and tomorrow, I’m in Calgary, at the home of another long-time friend - Judi G - where I arrived last night following a seven-hour drive across the remainder of Canada’s Prairies. Like I said earlier, 

      “Canada’s REALLY big!”

My friendship with Judi began when she joined me as one of “Jean’s girls” at the Winnipeg Free Press. Judi was a new grad from the University of Toronto, job-hunting in Winnipeg because it was her boyfriend’s home city. Like me a few months earlier, she didn’t have a clue about being a reporter. She’d applied for a job in the Classified section, and been referred to Jean when she admitted she had a university degree. Jean hired her, we connected immediately, and she’s been my “little buddy” for about 38 years.

Like me, Judi eventually left reporting for organizational communications - in her case, to handle public relations for the Royal Winnipeg Ballet. Some years later, when her marriage broke down, she moved back to Calgary (her home city) to work for the Calgary Public Library. She’s accredited (APR rather than ABC, to my chagrin), and, for some years, she’s been a successful independent consultant. Recently, her career has taken a back seat to her role as a daughter - she’s serving as primary support to two aging parents.

This journey of mine is turning out to be more than a drive across the country…

Tomorrow, my adventure starts.

Like most journeys, it begins with a single step. In this case, a “step” to Regina, a distance of 571 km, a drive of about seven hours.

It’s a drive I’ve made many times before, although it’s years since I drove it solo.

I travel with all the modern “toys.” My 2007 Saturn VUE is equipped with air conditioning and cruise control. The portable Garmin GPS on my front dash will supply directions as needed, and satellite radio and an in-dash CD sound system will provide a source of “company” to help me stay alert. Personal favourites from my CD collection are available via my iPod Touch, which connects directly to my vehicle’s sound system and eliminates the need to “fiddle” with individual CDs. Four audio books are loaded into the iPod for those times when I need a voice to talk to me.

To anyone not familiar with the drive from Winnipeg to Regina, staying alert can be a challenge. We are talking true “Prairies” here. As my sister once described it, “miles and miles of nothing but miles and miles.” I may be a Prairie product born and bred, a true child of the “Big Sky,” but I freely admit this is NOT the most exciting scenery to drive through. It is also driving in summer, which, in Canada, is tantamount to driving through construction zones. 

I know, I’m dithering… talking around what’s actually on my mind.

By the time you read this, I will have departed. After weeks/months of waiting, planning, preparing, my adventure is about to begin.

My “jet plane” awaits in Vancouver, scheduled departure August 26^th.

I’m being “re-invented.”

A friend’s daughter is helping me go through everything I’ve collected in the years I’ve lived in my current residence and separate the “wheat” from the “chaff.” Our objective is to clear personal effects out of the areas of my home that I’m going to turn over to someone else while I’m out of the country.

Who that person or persons will be is still in flux. Until today, I thought it was going to be one of my son’s friends, but now it looks like it will be one of my nephews.

No matter, it still means clearing clothing, photos, and “knick knacks” out of my bedroom, my closets and, to some extent, all the living areas of my townhouse. It is amazing the amount of “stuff” a chronic packrat like myself accumulates in six years. At times, it is also extremely embarrassing.

My sister says I should MOVE every five years.

I’m undecided as to how I feel about a comment made by my “re-inventor” as she pulled yet another bag full of bags out of my closet. She said she now understands why her mom and I are buddies. At least, I know her mother would understand - after all, you never know when you’re going to need another bag. 

At the outset, I declared my book collection sacrosanct, but agreed that everything else was negotiable. So far, what seems like massive amounts of clothing, shoes, and purses have already gone to Goodwill. My current assignment – while my “re-inventor” is taking a few days to care for her own life - is to review all the excess paper in my office space and identify it for “re-cycling,” “shredding,” or just plain “garbage.”

The results are amazing; I almost wish I was staying home to enjoy them. 

But, China still beckons. The flight tickets are purchased; the documents I require for a travel visa are in transit; my suitcases are lined up waiting to be packed.

The flurry and fanfare is finished… the parties are over… the gifts, the cards, the flowers, have been received and acknowledged… my personal independence “moment” has come and gone… I’m officially RETIRED!

Manitoba Public Insurance, the place of employment I retired from was my professional “home” for over 12 years, longer than I’d ever worked anywhere else. As with all jobs, there were “good” times as well as “not-so-good,” but, “bottom line,” it was a good place to work. 

My knowledge and skills were treated with respect; my efforts to learn and “grow” were encouraged and supported; my work was interesting and satisfying. I worked with, and for, some great people. I had a lot of fun and enjoyment. I was reimbursed fairly. I will remember my years at MPI with pride, and pleasure.

As I’ve said over and over during the past two weeks, even though everyone listening was grinning and smiling, it’s scary!

Thank God for China. There is a small “me” inside who keeps popping up her head and starting to go into panic mode, “What do I do now? What do I do now?” So far, because China is waiting in the wings, I’ve been able to calm her down and get her back in her “box.” Hopefully, by the time I get back from China, I’ll have some new plans to keep that side of my personality under control.

In the meantime, L Squared has LEFT THE BUILDING!

40 years ago this spring, four friends and I (along with a few hundred others) graduated from the University of Winnipeg… the first batch of students to do so (the university had been given degree-granting privileges in the fall of 1967, Canada’s centennial year).

Two of us, cousins, knew each other from birth, but the rest of us connected in class, at coffee, as accidental roommates. We shared a certain commonality of background, a certain mutual “thread” of understanding, somehow we meshed. 

Over the years, our relationship has ebbed and flowed… as youthful friendships are apt to do… but we’ve retained contact… sometimes directly, sometimes through one another. We’ve pursued diverse careers (entrepreneur, archivist, communicator, comptroller, historian), experienced various degrees of success in personal relationships (the current score is two married, one widowed, one separated, one single), and propagated our contribution to future generations (between us, we have seven children; two have grandchildren).

When we last gathered, it was to mark the 25^th anniversary of our graduation. Rather than attend the formal events organized by the university, we held our own private celebration, gathering with our spouses to barbeque in one of our back yards. We shared a raucous evening updating each other about developments in our individual lives and reminiscing about our “glory days” of university.

More sadly, on this 40^th anniversary, we gathered for the funeral of the mother of one of us. It was comforting to discover that the links we forged so casually 40-some years ago still hold true. We still take pleasure in each other’s company; we still hold values and opinions in common; we’re still friends.  

My initial email to friends and family to announce this blog and invite them to visit acknowledged I was a bit “shy” because its content is geared to my “personal” comments and feelings rather than taking a “professional” approach.

I’m feeling better about that now.

Part of that is just because I’ve launched. I’ve always preferred reality to anticipation. However, I’ve also been able to think about it more, and I realize that being aware of “feelings”… and being able to articulate them is a valuable part of who I am as a communicator.

I believe an essential part of being a good professional (in any field) is being passionate about what you do. You have to CARE, What you do has to MATTER. To me, that means somewhere at your core, even when it doesn’t “show,” you take what you do… and how others respond to it… personally.

To survive as a professional, you develop a shield between your core and the inevitable criticism and opposition you encounter. To be a successful professional, you even learn how to sift through the criticism and opposition for “learning experiences” that add to your skills and abilities. Depending on the source of the criticism and opposition, depending on your self-confidence, depending on your experience and maturity, some of it gets easier to dismiss… some of it gets easier to accept.

However, never be fooled by the shield, even the most ”professional” of us DOES take it “personally.” 

BECAUSE WE CARE! 

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